Fathers are, in most cases, the least recognized persons in our lives. A person who is often taken for granted, often misunderstood, the silent observers and guiding light who are often foreshadowed. Their sacrifices, responsibilities, unspoken emotions are not glorified as much as it should be because there is a popular belief that Fathers ( Men in general) are not good at expressing their emotions. But that does not mean that they don’t have any. They most definitely do and when given a chance, they express beautifully.
And this is exactly what WeekendTrivia has tried. To give fathers a platform to tell their tales, of what it feels to be a Father… For they are the true unsung heroes of our lives…
The first feeling that I had ever since I took my daughter in my hands was ethereal, ecstatic something beyond words. Yet the very next moment I started contemplating how to give her a beautiful and rightful life, how to educate her not only in academics but also in life and its values, to teach her that life should be spent in and around people, helping them in need but certainly not landing oneself in trouble; most importantly life should be spent in happiness. Ever since her arrival, I have thrived to teach and protect her emotionally, psychologically and physically whatever is in my capacity in the limited time period that I share with her. It gives me a sense of pride and belongingness whenever my daughter calls me ‘BABA’. I want to teach her to respect her mother, elders but also herself as an individual. My relationship with my daughter will always be that of love n friendship (will try to maintain this lifelong)
On March 11th, 2016, I received the biggest promotion of my life. I became a father. My first memory of this beautiful day was that of staring through the window of a nursery full of children at this small bundle, wrapped tightly in a small crib with balled up tiny fists. I remember standing there for the longest time, overwhelmed and happy at the same time. I have always considered my father to be my role model and I wanted to be the same for my son. Reyansh is now three years old and the highlight of my day is coming home to play ball with him or just laughing at his antics. Sometimes I can’t wait for him to grow up thinking of the exciting times we will have in future watching football matches together or going on road trips but at other times I wish he stays this small forever and keeps coming to me with all his little troubles believing his superhero can solve anything. – Mahesh Bhat, father to 3-year-old Reyansh.//affiliate.flipkart.com/affiliate/widgets/FKAffiliateWidgets.js
Thanks to Weekend trivia for giving me this platform. When this will be over the web, I will be a thousand miles away from my son.
It was our third anniversary and Paramita (my wife) was convinced that we should promote ourselves now to the new role. And our journey started the day when the test kit shown 2 pink strips. Since then I had an wonderful experience and needless to say it’s a mix bag.
Those nine months were really magnificent, watching a life growing inside a body and on the 9th of December, Tintin arrived finally. It is really very difficult to express what I felt at that point of time, but I felt so joyful and my eyes were moist.
But the real feeling of being a father came when we returned to our home. As we didn’t have any of our parents nearby, we had to take care of each other. Initial three months were full of struggles when you don’t know what to do, how to feed, why is he crying. But as time flew by, I started understanding the untold language.
When he was 4 months old, I went for a trek. I strongly believe regular readers of Weekend trivia knows this. Honestly, I went for a break even though it was planned even before his birth, I could have easily postponed this, but just needed a break.
Wonderful things happen when man and mountain meet each other, and truly, I got an insight, I felt the pull of a family. That 15 days changed my life and frankly speaking without that I would have never understood the affection of a father for his child.
Today my son is 2+ and he has started speaking words. This is the time which I thought I will be spending most with my son but again, unfortunately, I am getting deputed thousands of miles away. I will miss him every now and then. When I start for the office, he says “drive carefully”, when I come back he greets me with a smile which eases all my frustration of office. And these days, he sometimes whispers in my ears to bring pizza from office. Above all, I will miss the smell of him which I used to get when he sleeps hugging me tightly.
Being a father the attachment to the child does not come overnight. It comes very slowly as you get involved in things. I always believe life is a play and we all are actors and I think the role of the father is till now the most challenging role ever that I am playing and enjoying. People say every father is a hero to his son, but I just want to be his best friend, this is the only goal that I have now in my life.
I never thought I would become a father one day. When I got the news that my wife is pregnant, I had absolutely no idea what I was signing up for. Till now I am not sure whether my parenting style is effective or not. But when I saw my daughter for the first time, I felt something incredible which I will never be able to describe in words. The financial struggles are very much present and difficult to cope with. Yet when I reach home every day and see her then it all seems worthwhile. It is also true that she is very adjusting and does not ask for much. I am extremely happy being the father of my beautiful daughter Kritisha.//affiliate.flipkart.com/affiliate/widgets/FKAffiliateWidgets.js
Thank God that some feelings cannot be described in words..and just because it cannot be described or put down in pen and paper, those special feelings, desires and love can be entrusted and kept as treasures to one’s own self. In my understanding, the feeling of being a father is similar to this. This feeling can not be shared with anyone. It can not be expressed in any way. It is so valuable because it can not be expressed.
I can still vividly remember that day as if it was yesterday. It was 1.30 AM at night and my wife was admitted to the hospital. She was in the labour room. And I was standing outside, suffering from extreme tension. After a while, I was called and a Lady doctor said to me that, a decision will be taken next morning after a senior doctor has checked on her and that the patient was stable.
Alas! What was I to do then? The hospital complex was almost empty. Under the light of the vapor lamp, the whole street looked deserted. I keep standing still. Walked. Chewed gum. Walked around the hospital grounds and then came back to the waiting room. There was no sleep in my eyes. Sometimes it felt that I heard a cry from somewhere. But no, no sound came out from the labor room.
Suddenly I realized, that dawn was fluttering by. It was on a late February morning, and even though it is usually not very cold on February, the mornings are still chilly. I decided on going out for a bit and have a little cup of tea. Going out, I saw a dog lying beside the gate of the hospital. Oh how wonderfully it slept! There is no unpleasant thought in his body. He’s lying down, oh well, he’s lying down. Light fog appeared on the leaves of the trees and on this Cold, clean, tidy, loving February morning, I stood in the midst of all this. I, a man, suffering from nervous tension for the birth of another human.
I started to reason with myself, had tea, few ‘Projapoti’ biscuits and just as I was about to light my cigarette, I felt that my feet and palm have turned extremely cold. Why so? Without pausing to think, I threw away the cigarette and ran back to the hospital. Going back to the waiting room, the person with whom I had spent the previous night said, I was being called and I will get the news at reception. I started palpitating, and couldn’t process anything clearly.
From the reception I was sent to the labour room, where the senior doctor said that they are taking no chances and are shifting my wife to the OT and that I should complete all the formalities. My throat became completely dry and I lost sense of time. Everything was a blur, and then I found myself sitting on an empty bench outside the OT where she had been already transferred.
Thankfully, there are some feelings so personal that a person never shares them with anyone else. They keep the responsibility and burden of those feelings with themselves for an entire lifetime. On that day, sitting on the bench in front of the OT, I thought what was the need for us to have children? For me, my friend, who is also my wife, is going to give birth to a human baby with the risk to her life?! How can I agree to lose my friend in exchange for anything? Why does a man want to be a father? Am I ultimately selfish? There was no mirror in front of me. If there was, I could not have looked at myself.
Faintly I felt the door of the OT open and close again, and a strong whiff of Dettol mixed OT smell caught my nostrils. I felt weak, almost paralyzed with fear. A nurse in a white apron came near me holding a fluffy towel in her arms. She called me by my name and slowly I responded…Yes, I am, I am there… Then she leaned a little towards me and opened a part of the towel. Slowly the fog lifted from my eyes and I saw two hands like dolls, hair-like carpet, pink cheeks, and eyes just like a human child are staring at me. She was my daughter. She was my part, a piece of me and She cried just like a kitten.
After sometime, I went to sit beside my wife. Our new born daughter had not yet been brought to her mother. I was sitting beside her when someone shoved a prescription in my hands and asked me to bring some medicine from the nearby pharmacy. I was springing down the stairs and upon reaching the gates, noticed that the sleeping stray dog was no longer there. To get to the pharmacy, I had to cross the street. I could have easily crossed the street running, but I waited for the signal and then crossed. Responsibly.
I told myself, I have to be careful now. The one who has come to this world is mine. I have to bring up that part of mine with the utmost care and love. That soft and delicate little girl and her cry had changed me forever. Now in my every breath, in every step, in every word, she is there and I am incomplete without her!
My life had changed effectively in that one single moment. I was no longer just a husband, I had now become a Dad too. When I became a father, ‘Finding Nemo’ made a hell of a lot more sense to me. Srotoshini is 5 months old now. Everyone says that my daughter is my photocopy. Without a doubt she is the best thing that happened in my life. And it gets better everyday. Before Srotoshini happened we already were pet parents to two of the most adorable canines (Cookie and Pumpkin) which I believe helped me in a great way to shape my fatherly instincts. They are pure bliss.
Many men begin walking the path of fatherhood the moment they first hold their child. For me, however, it took days before I felt fatherhood in my heart. Time needed to pass for my inner dad to manifest. But that deep sense of connection, of responsibility and love,lit the moment I took my baby girl in my arms. My grandmother had passed away barely a week before Titir (her pet name) was born, so there remains a forever sense of grief and the moment I saw her for the first time I thought “Amma” has reincarnated.
When she holds my finger and giggles at me, that look on her cute face “Daddy’s here, and everything’s going to be all right.” is the utmost heartwarming feeling. She smiles and giggles while sleeping as if angels are playing with her. I can see my responsibility and my goals are getting structured. Being a Scorpion I have always been known for my bad temper. But now I see myself as a totally different person. My wife and my daughter are the reasons to shape me up as a better human being than what I used to be yesterday. I had promised my wife that we both will take active part in taking her care. But she is extremely kind and takes care of both of us 24×7. However I have sharpened my skillsets and believe I can catchup with her soon.
Being a dad is an overwhelming experience. It makes you a better person. The feeling is difficult to describe or understand but you’ll know it when it comes. It’s gradual but overwhelming. And you’ll think how lucky you are to be where you are and have what you’ve got.//affiliate.flipkart.com/affiliate/widgets/FKAffiliateWidgets.js
Well just take time to let your father know how much you love him and not just on social media. Be there for him as he has been for you. Happy Father’s Day to whoever is celebrating. Share with us how you feel about him